Oooooo-kay. It has been some time since I posted a budget. There was some laziness at the beginning of winter, followed by the unexpected flooding of my apartment, and me moving out of my apartment and moving in with my parents. The winter was…eventful, but I am looking forward to spring. Because my finances have finally settled since the move and I generally have a good idea of what my monthly expenditures will be, while living with my parents, I decided I would post a budget forecast for April (and I will). However, before I could do that, I figured I finally needed to address what it means to live at home, for me. I need to address it because I find that when I don’t work through how I feel about something that is tied to my finances, I often make a rash decision that is usually not in my long term best interest.
So…I hate the idea of being a boomerang child. I was entirely unaware of this word or that it might be applied to me, as a result of my present living arrangement, until Dude Avery began heckling me about it (he really is the worst). The barest amount of research found that the most common definition is: boomerang child (n) – an adult child returning home to live with their parents for economic reasons after a period of independent living. I think the reason this gets under my skin so much is because it implies a level of financial irresponsibility or parental overindulgence that has often been used to talk about millennials. To me. (I recognize that it may often result from an instance of genuine need or convenience of care for others).
As an incredibly independent person, I think I bristle at the implication that I am currently staying with my parents because I have not been financially responsible or do not have the means to live independently. This is simply not the case. I was a senior in college in 2008 when the recession hit. I watched many folks of my generation not get jobs after college or move back home with their folks (this is
probably definitely what I should have done). But I got a job, lived frugally, and continued living on my own after college. AND took no meaningful steps to pay back my student loans for almost a decade. But that’s old news.
Further, while I still have significant student loan debt, I am fairly frugal, and on the advice of the Pennyfolk, have an emergency fund of $5000.00 set aside to address instances like this. The point being, even if I have not made the best financial choices in the past, for at least some time now, I have been a financially responsible person and my financial situation isn’t precarious enough to necessitate that I live at home. (I recognize there are some that might disagree).
Stepping off my soapbox, I also recognize that while this definition may not have been initially applicable to my reason for staying with my parents, it certainly would become applicable if I decide to remain living with my parents once the pandemic lifts…which is something I am considering. While my April budget will go into greater detail, while staying with my parents, I am able to put an extra $1,700.00 towards my student loans each month. This means that even without an extra job or consulting work, I could easily have both PSL3 and PSL4 paid off this year while cashflowing the application process to medical school.
What to do? My parents have been incredibly amazing and I have far more independence and alone time than I could ever have imagined. Overall, I am very comfortable and the anxiety I had about moving in with them has entirely dissipated. At the moment, staying through December, which would allow me to payoff both loans and likely know where I stand in the medical school admissions process, is very tempting. If I stayed and were accepted to medical school, then it is likely I would continue staying with them and move out the following June/July to go to school. If I were not accepted, then I could find a place on my own early in the new year. Before I make a final decision, I will have to have another talk with my parents…
I will also admit that some of this is coming up right now because of a conversation I had with Dude Avery last night. He can be exceptionally frustrating and has been playing both sides of this decision from the beginning. He suggested back in 2020, mid-pandemic, that instead of renewing my lease, that I move back home with my parents to pay off my student loans. At the time, the idea was appalling to me and I wouldn’t even consider it. Six months later, my apartment floods and I do just that. He then suggest that I not look for a new apartment and instead stay with my parents for as long as I need, and focus on paying off my debt. (Note: Dude Avery has made all the right financial choices in life, and is very frugal). However, last evening, Dude Avery wants to know when I am planning to move out of my parents home and back into the city. This felt like whiplash and I didn’t really know how to respond. While more context for our relationship would seem useful here, I don’t really feel like this is that post. What I will say is that Dude Avery lives in the city.
Ugh. I will make a decision about this, one way or the other, soon.
6 thoughts on “The so-called “Boomerang Child””
I mean, is he suggesting that you move in with him rent free? Because if not….
This! The great thing is we can generally talk about anything so I am going to bring this up when we talk tonight. Not the living with him thing, because we’re no where close to there, but the why are you playing both sides of the fence? Is this just for chuckles? What real reasons could you have for backing off on advice you gave just weeks ago.
Lol agree with C. What is Dude Avery implying by you moving back into the city? I’m dying to know the backstory between you two now.
But in all seriousness, your thoughts on being a “boomerang child” really resonates with me.
I remember moving back home after graduate school thinking what am I doing with my life? Having to move back home has such a negative stigma but I definitely don’t think I would be where am I today, having paid off 6 figure debt if I hadn’t saved money by moving back with my parents.
“…I’m dying to know the backstory between you two now.” One day I will write that post.
YES! And the stigma is only worse the older you get. That being said, it’s going to be hard to walk away from these huge monthly loan payments. And…breakfast lol
Dude Avery misses you being around! That’s very sweet. But yes, it would be annoying too, to have him flip flopping like that.
Also, as you mentioned, you are a financially responsible person, and you and your parents are all happy with the arrangement you have right now, so don’t feel overindulged/irresponsible, even if you stay post-pandemic and pre-med-school. Enjoy it while you can! The Pennyfolk are in support!
Lol he can be an educated and attractive…pest. My introduction to him on this blog, “…pretending I no longer find him attractive…” was apt. And genuine commentary on my struggle.
Thanks, Ellen. You are so appreciated.