My Resignation

One of the great things about having this blog is that it is a place for me to confess all of my financial-related neuroses. I am financially intimate with you all in a way that I would never consider behaving in “real life.” However, this also means that you know where all the financial bodies are buried. I can’t paint a distractingly cheerful picture for you about my choices without you considering what it means for me financially. And this is mostly a good thing…unless I want to make a decision that would not appear to be in line with the financial goals I express here. Like resigning from my current job without another offer. Let me finish!

My last day at Organization C will be on July 31st. So…how did that happen? Honestly, it was a confluence of many different things. Most significantly, it was the nature of my role (think social equity focused) and Organization C’s desire to be “neutral” while advocating for democracy. How do you do that? How is it possible to hold up voting as a civic “right” and a civic “good” and be “neutral” when states pass laws that are meant to target and diminish voter turnout among minority groups? And if that is all you do, say “voting good,” then what are you really doing? Really accomplishing? And does this moment in American history, in the ongoing experiment in democracy, not demand more?

If I am honest, I had only been with Organization C for only a few weeks before I determined that the organization didn’t really do anything. To be fair, this was not always the case. The organization was founded with a specific mission and focus that was accomplished several decades after its founding. And there were several points in the last few decades where the leaders of the organization contemplated whether or not it needed to still exist. I think they decided to continue, for historical reasons, however, they no longer had a targeted mission or focus and consequentially the organization is a bit aimless and doing things without any way to demonstrate the efficacy or impact of their work. And it would be one thing if this was just my opinion but it’s not. It is the opinion of quite a few board members who struggle to define and advocate for what the organization “does.” However, the current president, my supervisor, is committed to this path…

Perhaps the final straw came when the organization asked me, as the only person of color on the staff, to help lead a pitch to a city struggling to respond to community anger after a policeman killed an unarmed black man, and the video leaked showing an interaction that was markedly different than what the police report stated. After meeting with the chief of police, it was clear that neither the department nor the city was really interested in meaningful reform. They just wanted people to stop being angry. We told them what they needed to do to have productive conversations with the community but they weren’t really interested. They just needed an external organization to co-sign on their plan. And my organization needed me to co-sign on their plan as a black face. While I understand that non-profit organizations need to raise money, and sometimes form non-mission-focused alliances under this auspice, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t just be a black face standing at the front of the room supporting a bad plan designed to suppress community anger.

There were other reasons that factored more or less significantly into my decision to resign but I need not discuss all of them here. I made this decision a little more than a week ago and waited for panic, anxiety, or regret to set in. I’m still waiting…

This isn’t a cliffhanger, it’s just the end of part 1. I will be back on Friday, my last day at Organization C, to discuss my immediate next steps. And just so no one thinks I have entirely left financial responsibility behind me, I have an interview with University B, for a temporary (9 months), fully remote role, scheduled for this Thursday.

11 thoughts on “My Resignation

  1. It isn’t ALL about finances here despite what the sign might say. You are a human with thoughts and feelings. You have to be able to sleep at night with your decisions while the rest of us comment on your page and go on to live our lives. I am glad you have given this resignation thought and have prepared for the future. I hope everything else goes well.

    It sounds like you know that it isn’t All About the Benjamins (2002). The goal will still be there next week and next month. If you have to extend it, we are here to cheer you on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Blissful. I really, really appreciate the support.

      I think the real “preparing” I did was not allowing my lifestyle to change; I have mostly kept living like I did three years ago. Had I moved into a more expensive place or bought a house when the itch was bad, there is no way that I could have made this choice. Living on last month’s income also makes this a bit easier than it would be otherwise as it gives me a month to get my ish together.


  2. I love that all your hard financial work made it possible for you to leave a job that didn’t align with your values! Now you can take a breath and see what’s next, rather than scrambling. And the fact that you made that move will make you attractive to people who are looking for a strong thinker and leader in their organizations. Maybe one of the board members who sees the Organization C for what it is will refer you to a colleague, or one of your co-workers will mention your resignation to their sister, and in that way you’ll end up in your next permanent role. Or maybe University B will become permanent in a way that you want. In any case, I’m excited for you because I think this is going to lead to a much better situation. Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You nailed all of it, Ellen. 1) It wouldn’t be possible for me to have made this choice three years ago. 2) The temporary opportunity allows me to take a small breath before rushing into another role. 3) Several folks, including board members, have already reached out to me with other opportunities, including some immediate consulting work. 4) The opportunity with University B arose as a result of work I did previously at University B. This is very much a temporary role for both of us, and as I shared, my permanent return to University B in a different capacity is something in which they are interested.

      There is more going on with me and I will try to share where I am with everything on Friday but you touched on most of the moving parts…most of them 😉

      Liked by 1 person

    • Awe, thank you Eva. It was the right decision, I have yet to regret it and doubt that I will, and I am glad that I am finally in a financial position that I could make this choice.

      Thank you so much for the well wishes. I would REALLY love this temporary job with University B because the work would be super interesting even if it is only for the academic year.


  3. oh wow! I think others have already said what I think: this sounds like it was a good decision, values based, and you have done a terrific job of enabling yourself to make these kinds of decisions, as well as preparing to move forward. I’m especially excited by the board members reaching out for consulting work that you mention above.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A little late to the news but I’m so happy for you! Everyone else pretty much already said what I wanted to say but I’m just so glad you were able to make the decision that was right for you. ☺️

    I don’t think there’s anything more rewarding than realizing what all the hard work and financial preparation over the years have allowed you to do 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • This. This. This. Like, I am so appreciative of the immediate past AP, the one who did gig work when she really didn’t want to and lived modestly who gave this AP the ability to make this choice.


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