Nothing to see here. Literally. But for posterity, to the numbers…
July 1, 2019 – Student Loan Balance(s): -$128,663.26
September 1, 2022 – Student Loan Balance: -$67,197.00
October 1, 2022 – Student Loan Balance: -$67,189.75
Total Payments: $200.00
Net Difference: $7.25
Ugh. This is the second month where my student loan debt balance has decreased by a less than marginal degree and it hurts to see it…
Financially, I feel like I am in a stasis until October 11th when I get my MCAT score back. If the score is good enough to warrant secondary applications to programs, then I will move forward much as I have, using apps to accept gigs and temporary work. However, if my score is not good enough to move forward, I will likely begin looking for a full-time job immediately and I try and figure out 1) whether I took my shot, it didn’t work out, and I step away from medicine completely, 2) I pursue a different path, or 3) I retake the MCAT and give myself one more application cycle.
For a long time, I feel like I made these decisions from the perspective that I thought I would get married/partner and have kids. And that I would have to consider how these choices would affect my partner and my children. I think I have finally got to a point where I have accepted that those things might not happen and that I should make choices that will result in the most amount of happiness if it ends up being just me.
I know that sounded sad but I’m not sad. Perhaps disappointed and surprised? But not “sad.”
Ms. Afro Penny 
Hi Penny! “I think I have finally got to a point where I have accepted that those things might not happen and that I should make choices that will result in the most amount of happiness if it ends up being just me.” <—- THIS! If a partner and kids are on the horizon and he is worth his salt, you BOTH will figure out what needs to be done. At the end of the day, all you can do is work on you and be the best you so that when/if you meet the "one" you are ready meaning you've worked on yourself, your mindset and you are ready for the future.🎉❤️😊.
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🙂 ❤ 🙂 Thank you so much Blissful. You are absolutely correct. If he is the one, then we will figure it out. If he's not willing to do that with me…he ain't the one. The best I can do is be the best version of me for both of us.
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I’m glad you aren’t sad, cause you have no need to be. You have come to a conclusion that take many years, decades even…to figure out.
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