Nothing to see here. Literally. But for posterity, to the numbers…
July 1, 2019 – Student Loan Balance(s): -$128,663.26
September 1, 2022 – Student Loan Balance: -$67,197.00
October 1, 2022 – Student Loan Balance: -$67,189.75
Total Payments: $200.00
Net Difference: $7.25
Ugh. This is the second month where my student loan debt balance has decreased by a less than marginal degree and it hurts to see it…
Financially, I feel like I am in a stasis until October 11th when I get my MCAT score back. If the score is good enough to warrant secondary applications to programs, then I will move forward much as I have, using apps to accept gigs and temporary work. However, if my score is not good enough to move forward, I will likely begin looking for a full-time job immediately and I try and figure out 1) whether I took my shot, it didn’t work out, and I step away from medicine completely, 2) I pursue a different path, or 3) I retake the MCAT and give myself one more application cycle.
For a long time, I feel like I made these decisions from the perspective that I thought I would get married/partner and have kids. And that I would have to consider how these choices would affect my partner and my children. I think I have finally got to a point where I have accepted that those things might not happen and that I should make choices that will result in the most amount of happiness if it ends up being just me.
I know that sounded sad but I’m not sad. Perhaps disappointed and surprised? But not “sad.”